I enjoyed writing this … I hope you enjoy reading it !
Martial Arts Mastery
A Tell-All of Tips, Tactics, and Techniques
This week, a woman at the grocery store had averbal altercation with my wife and me.
I have to admit that it makes me smile just thinking about it. I just know that crafting today’s issue of Martial Arts Mastery is going to be a lot of fun.
Let’s just jump write into this discussion that I hope gives some solid, practical advice.
Note: In case you were expecting a pure discussion of fighting tactics or tips on staying safe, here’s one for you: When your loved one gets out of the car, and you stay in the driver’s seat, turn off your music, put your phone away, roll down your window, and be another set of eyes and ears for your companion.
I do that for my wife without thinking … especially when she jumps out of the car at night on a quick errand.
There … practical tip accomplished. Now, let’s really talk …
Stupid Woman in the Winco Parking Lot — Dumb, Beyond Belief
by Keith Pascal
What happened a few days ago in the Winco parking lot reminds me of the last time someone flew off their handle at us … about eight years ago in the country of Croatia….
If you don’t remember the story, our daughter, nine years old at the time, got up from her chair on the tender (boat) taking us back to the big, cruise ship. The chair flipped up and made a clack sound by accident. The lady across from us called my daughter rude and said that she did it on purpose.
It was obvious that little Quinn simply didn’t know that the seat would flip up. She apologized to the lady and said she didn’t mean to. (Pretty polite of a nine year old, if I do say so.)
The lady didn’t accept the apology, which really wasn’t needed, since Q didn’t do anything, and she started insulting my kid.
I jumped in and told the woman that our child was honest and nice. And then sympathized with the woman that something else must have happened to trigger this mood. And I hoped that she would have a better day and that things would improve.
And we apologized again for upsetting her, even if unintentionally.
That night, she just happened to be dining in the same ship restaurant that we were. While I was standing, she had her husband come over to “take care of me.”
He told me of his wife’s accusations that my whole family was swearing at her and insulting her. (Wow, I didn’t think we were rude, at all.)
I denied it, and then pointed to my family. My wife waved. Our daughter was playing with her grandparents, politely at the table.
Then I pulled my trump card …
Note: Feel free to take this and use it as your own tactic….
I told the man, “Look at my family. I promise you that we were well behaved all the way through the misunderstanding. It looks like you have been married to her for a long time, so you know her. My guess is that this isn’t the first time that she has … gone off like this.”
The old man’s shoulders slumped, as if admitting I was right. He simply said quietly, “Maybe our families should try to avoid each other on the cruise ship.”
I agreed and then shook his hand….
Do you remember the above story?
Well, what happened in the grocery store parking lot was reminiscent of the first part of my story. But the ending “would not have been” as smooth.
Let me tell you of “this” misunderstanding, while weaving in a little martial arts advice….
So … Kate and I were pushing our cart out of the store. Ahead of us were three carts, with at least four or five carts behind us.
The line moved slowly, because two women of at least 350 lbs. each pushed their carts side by side while chatting the day away.
Everyone was very patient. Call it the “laid back, Oregon lots-of-patience attitude.”
Within ten feet from the crossway, the women turned off to their car.
the lady and her daughter in front of us continued to move at a snail’s pace.
Again, no problem. The rest of us were patient, although the line behind me was beginning to “tighten up” a bit.
Then, she turned around, saw that she was holding up the line, and stopped.
Next, she moved her cart to the side to allow all to pass, but her kid, maybe 12 yrs. old, stayed frozen, blocking the aisle. I moved to the side, and the kid moved to the same side.
I moved back to the center. And so did she.
We smiled sheepishly at each other.
I told her that she could have either side. My wife smiled and said excuse me.
We passed. We both chimed in “thank you” to her.
Unfortunately, that was NOT that.
We had gone about five feet when the woman yelled at me, “Don’t you tell her to get to one side or the other!!!!!”
I apologized and explained that the lady had misunderstood. I was being nice, and everything was fine.
She yelled at me that it wasn’t.
Kate and I continued moving.
The lady kept insulting.
Jokingly, I gave puppy-dog eyes to my wife and whispered, “Please.” (I don’t really need her permission to verbally defend.)
Kate said it was better not to respond. I agreed.
We kept walking.
I had missed what the lady said, but Kate suddenly turned and said something about us being able to back up our words.
(Apparently, she had invited us to her house, so that her husband could kick our _sses.)
I listened for a few more seconds and then started responding with, “You’re not being a good example for your daughter.”
Her response was, “This ain’t my daughter. You’re so stupid. You dumb-_ss!”
She’s right: I didn’t ascertain whether it was her boyfriend’s child, her granddaughter, or if she was lying and it really was her daughter.
So, I told her that “calmer” would be a better example for “the young one.”
I was also incredulous that miscalling her kid’s relationship was her best was to insult us.
Note: Did you pick up that long ago, we should’ve continued walking? So, why did I want to engage? At first, it was because it really was a misunderstanding. I had done magic all over the store for several kids
just minutes before. And I was being nice to hers as well by verbally allowing her to get her out of the way of the crowd gracefully, and allowing her to pick where she wanted to go. So, I tried. But then … at the point that the woman could’ve been a true-loon, with a gun in car, I decided to continue listening to her stupidity.
Because I wanted to write about the incident in today’s issue of MAM.
At the point that she began calling me fat, I had to laugh. She was more overweight than I was. Something about “calling the kettle …” — oh, well.
Instead of continuing my suggestion of more decorum in front of her young charge, I changed my message to allow her to read about it in today’s issue of Martial Arts Mastery.
And that’s pretty much where the story ends, except, I believe, that it warrants a little discussion.
First, I know that I should’ve simply moved on with Kate. (But that can sometimes get a bullet in the back of the head.) And I’m a nice guy, and I really did want to clear up any misunderstanding.
Next, you never know … she could’ve had a gun in her car. She was eager to get to it before continuing to get really nasty.
This is why I didn’t go up to her to talk. I kept at least five hunks of metal (cars and trucks) between us. (See a weapon come out, and duck!)
On the cruise ship, the angry-at-life lady’s husband proved to be very reasonable. There was no guarantee that this unkempt, loud-mouth’s husband would be reasonable. He might be the type itching for a fight of any kind. (And even though I’m highly trained, my focus is on “safe.” Picking fights is not “safe.”)
And for anyone thinking that driving over to the guy’s house might be “just the ticket,” all
I can say is … look at it from a legal standpoint.
You went over there after a verbal altercation in a store parking lot?
It probably doesn’t matter if he throws the first punch, or tries to stab you with knife. You went over there; you’re the instigator.
You get yourself into a bunch of legal problems when you change location. After all, you could just drive away. Situation solved.
PS To the woman in the parking lot, if you (she) takes the time to read this: While I didn’t know whether or not you had a gun or something to back up your mistaken anger, you didn’t know that you were dealing with two people who have been doing practical, high-level martial arts for most of their lives. Fortunately for you,
with expert skill, there often follows level-headed restraint.
And I want to thank you — this overweight martial arts writer got a fun story for today’s ezine.
To everyone else … maybe the adage is right: Sometimes, even with logic … you just can’t fix stupid. Cheers, lady!
(c) Copyright 2015, Kerwin Benson Publishing
All content is provided as is. Use your own judgment
when working out and defending yourself. Since people
and situations vary, the publishers, author(s), and
editor may not be held liable for the content of this
ezine. Use only what is useful and helpful to you.
And no matter what, always be careful.