12-reasons-wrist-locks

Wrist Locks Article (Humor)

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If you are wondering why I didn’t also write 8 Reasons to Wrist Lock at Hanukkah, it’s because even with the Shammash candle, I’d only be able to have a list of nine items. This way I can squeeze more wrist-lock rationale out of the post. Besides, the term christmas is probably more popular in the search engines.

Here’s the original martial-arts humor article as it appeared, more or less:

12 Reasons To Wrist Lock Around Christmas Time:

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12. If you’re avoiding crowds, you have something to practice while watching tv.
11. A wrist lock is a great tactic to fend off any annoying person who holds the door open
for you, rings a bell in your face, and then acts belligerent when you actually don’t have any
spare change on you (you gave it all to the “last” annoying person who rang a bell in your face).

10. If the red-suited, bearded guy who slides down your chimney tries to “take” rather than “leave” presents.

PS If you still believe in Santa, and he doesn’t give you everything you asked for…
A wrist lock is a great way to show him that it’s time to be naughty to prove to him that you’re really nice.

9. Practicing Wrist Locks will keep you warm in the winter… unless you live in California or Florida,
in which case, what the heck are you doing inside in front of a computer?

8. You have read Chapter 4 of Keith Pascal’s “Wrist Locks: From Protecting Yourself to Becoming
an Expert,” entitled “A Dozen Super Techniques to Promote Thought.” Thus armed, you have a
unique wrist lock for each of the 12 Days of Christmas, just in case someone
tries to sing all 12 Days to you.

7. If anyone dares to enter your house bearing (wielding?) a particular gift — a fruit cake.

6. For fights in the department store over the last “Tickle-Your-Elbow” or “Furball” Doll, Pokeymom, DSI, ipod, or Scooter.
You don’t even have to hit your “opponent,” I mean “fellow shopper.”

5. Your first name is Ebenezer, and you hate people in your employ who ask for charity.

    PS Don’t try to wrist lock a ghost. It doesn’t work.

4. Use a wrist lock as an ice breaker to start a conversation at your office party.

-or-

Use a wrist lock to end a conversation at an office party (your ice breaker turns into a “bone breaker”).

3. If you didn’t get the kind of Christmas Bonus you wanted. See if putting a wrist lock on your boss
doesn’t get you both a bonus AND a raise. (Note: Don’t blame anyone but yourself, if it doesn’t work.)

2a. The kids are trying to get you up too early to open presents. One little lock, and they’ll be out the
bedroom door, allowing you to get the peaceful rest you deserve.

2b. Your parents just won’t get up, and you can’t open presents without them. One parental lock,
and you’ll have mom or dad out of bed in a hurry.

1. The Number one reason to do a wrist lock at Christmas time is because you just opened one of your presents under the tree … it’s “Wrist Locks: From Protecting Yourself to Becoming an Expert.”

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Oh Joy! You get to try out these new and creative locks on all of your family members.

Hey, if you know anyone into the martial arts or in need of a little self-defense instruction, “Wrist Locks: From Protecting Yourself to Becoming an Expert” is the way to go. It truly gives you the edge in martial arts.
Read more about this great book (it’s reasonable price, added features and benefits, 100% money-back
guarantee, etc.)

And have a great holiday season!

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© Copyright 2000, 2011 Kerwin Benson Publishing

Martial Artists Who Can Make Wrist And Joint Locks Work Are More Confident

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