KerwinBenson.com Hidden Gems of Martial Arts

Martial Artists, Do You Care What 'They' Think of You?

Martial Artists, Do You Care What 'They' Think of You?

"I don't give a rip what non-martial artists think of me. I do what I do. If they don't understand my pastime, then tough."

Is that the way you think?

I don't.

It's nice to tell myself that I don't care what others think, but that's not really the case. I do try to get along with folks -- until I have dismissed the 'mal-thinker' as being someone not worth the effort.

Until that point, I am at the very least, curious as to how and what people think. It helps me in my profession as a writer, and helps me better function in the 'community' known as "The Human Race."

When it comes to martial arts ...

It's strange what people think.

How People React to Martial Artists

Last year, my wife and I attended an adult-education class. During the class, the teacher mentioned how it's our responsibility in society to tell others if they are doing something that could potentially harm another. (I knew there was a reason for me to write those articles about not cell-phoning while driving.)

So, I asked a hypothetical question:

You see someone driving. While turning into a parking lot, the driver pulls a couple of 'dumb moves' (doesn't signal, cuts across a lane, and almost demolishes the little old lady walking on the sidewalk past the entrance into the parking lot).

You see these stupid and dangerous moves.

My question ...

Do you pull into the parking lot and inform this person of their errors, or do you mind your own business?

The answer isn't important. What's important is the reaction by the people around the table in the class.

Even though I have never followed a bad driver and cornered him or her, in order to chastise for dangerous driving practices, everyone in the class assumed that I had.

I reemphasized that it was a 'hypothetical situation.' I am sure they didn't believe me.

One lady even consoled me after class -- she was sure that I didn't "intentionally" pick fights with drivers. And the teacher mentioned all the accidents involved with "road rage."

Sheesh -- I was just asking a "what if" question.

Why the Hostile Reaction?

Hmm -- what did they know about me? What could cloud their judgment into quickly leaping to these conclusions?

The only other thing they knew about me was that I am a martial artist and a martial arts author.

Ahh -- and so conclusions are formed.

I have always liked that the martial arts teaches control. Kids with no self control learn restraint in a martial arts class. Practitioners learn to keep their anger in check in many confrontational situations.

Face it ... on the one hand, the world thinks of many martial artists as fighters -- people who like to throw punches and kicks (in their pajamas). On the other hand, martial arts "masters" are thought of having a gentle nature (at least in movies and novels).

These masters have an inner calm. The masters have "mastered" their more violent emotions.

Maybe the masters have learned what society thinks of them, so they develop a calm exterior. This prevents the public from jumping to any "Seagal-Van Damme-Chan-Li-Lee" conclusions about them.

And speaking of conclusions ...

Conclusion

Is your martial arts a personal, private pursuit, not to be mentioned to others? (I am not so lucky. Since my profession is in the arts, I have to talk about it.)

Do you treat your martial study like a 'proselytizing religion,' and try to sell your ideas to anyone with an ear, whether they are interested or not? ("Yours" is the best style, and you spread that philosophy to all.)

When folks ask you about your pursuit, what do you say?

Do you throw out terms that are completely foreign to them ....

Many of the martial artists went on and on.

A few had succint answers that were interesting and informative.

How would you describe what you do?